I am struggling with running my own business, because most of my customers are also my friends. They keep asking me to do things for them for free, and I feel guilty telling them no. How do I juggle being a business owner with being a good friend?

This is a great question! I have discussed this problem with many of my clients who are new entrepreneurs. You must be able to separate friendships with business relationships. Do not confuse the two.

You shouldn't feel guilty about quoting reasonable prices to clients of yours who are also your friends. If you don't value your time, no one else will, either. The way you have to look at it is this - if these people do not value the thing that they are asking you for enough to pay you for it, than you shouldn't either.

As a business owner, this is your livelihood. No true friend would ask you to take food off of your family's table. I wish you luck!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

My best friend is dating my ex. I never really got over him, because he really hurt my feelings and then later told me that he still liked me. We had began flirting again when suddenly she informed me that they were now seeing each other. Is that right?!

No, it is definitely not right. Your friend has now broken the ultimate golden rule for friendships. Did no one ever teach her friend etiquette?! You DO NOT date your best friend's ex-boyfriend. It's just plain wrong, and it's pretty oogy.

There are feelings that still linger on, and it is mean and selfish for your best friend to put you through that emotional pain. You have to see them together, and hear them talk about being with one another. If she was really your friend, she would have resisted his advances, told you what he was saying to her, and moved on. A real friend would never let a guy get in between your friendship, or do anything that might hurt you.

She was obviously jealous of you and your ex's relationship and wants to get a piece of him herself. You shouldn't feel bad, and just realize that she is getting your left overs.

If you do decide to stay friends with her (which I wouldn't personally recommend), be sure to keep a close eye on this girl! She seems very toxic to you, and I wouldn't put it past her to do other things to stab you in your back. My suggestion? Find a new boyfriend, and FRIEND, who really care about your feelings and aren't playing head games with you. I wish you luck, and I hope this helps.

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have a situation, and it's really upsetting me. My dear childhood friend's husband recently made some sexually suggestive comments about me. She told me about it. It made me sick to my stomach. What should I do?

First, let me say that I am sorry you are upset about what was said about you. No one should ever have the right to say things to you that would hurt or upset you. On the other hand, he didn't say it to you. He said it in the privacy of his own home, to his wife, who he didn't think would go back and tell you.

I know that there are many things that my husband and I say amongst one another that we would never think to repeat around others. There is a confidentiality between spouses, that even carries through to the courtroom! You can't make a husband or wife testify against their mate. I wouldn't blame him for his words. I would feel more at odds with my friend, who thought it was a good idea to spill the beans to me.

Your friend may have been thinking that she was innocently telling you something that might even boost your self-esteem. She may not have realized that you would react negatively to her husband's comments. Was she upset by his comments? If she was, she shouldn't have gotten you involved. She should have addressed it with him. If she wasn't, that means that she knew that his statements weren't serious and that he didn't mean any harm by them.

You have to think back and figure out why his comments are making you this upset. Is it because of something from your past that makes you extra sensitive to these things? If so, it's not his fault for saying what he said. You have previous issues that need to be worked out. Has he ever made you feel uncomfortable or made advances to you before? If not, you shouldn't blow this out of proportion. Don't make more of it than it really is.

If he has made advances toward you or made you feel uncomfortable, you need to talk with your friend and get things straight with her. Good luck!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have started a manuscript, but I am nervous about how to get it puublished once I am done with it. What avenues should I take?

I hear this question a lot in my writers seminars and workshops. The fear of the unknown will stunt the growth of your project. Stop worrying about what will happen to your story once you are finished with it - just finish it! Once you are completely done with it, get it edited (for content, flow, continuity, punctuation, and grammar), THEN worry about the next step. Until then, focus on getting it completed. My company, http://www.ImoianPress.com offers great editing services when you are ready. :)

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I am sure that my wife is cheating on me. She stays out to all hours of the morning, and she keeps telling me about some co-worker of hers named, "Derek". What do I do?

A surefire way to tell that a spouse has started tipping out on you is to listen to their words. When your mate begins to talk incessantly about a person of the opposite sex all the time, your personal antenna and radar should go up. Especially if they are spending lots of unaccounted for time away from home, and the intimacy has began to wane in the bedroom. You need to sit down and have a long talk with your wife. Don't start accusing her, or else she will shut down and all communication will be lost. Instead, open up with this: "I feel like we are growing apart lately. I need to know what I am doing wrong. I want us to have a strong relationship, and I want to know what is lacking. Where do you need me to do better? What do you wish I was doing more or less of?" By taking the blame, you allow her to turn off the defense mechanisms and actually talk to you about her issues. Good luck, and let me know how it goes!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have a great idea for a business. I want to provide people with custom-made theme songs and jingles for their businesses. What should be my first step?

That sounds like a fantastic idea! First of all, you will want to think of a catchy name for your business. Next, you need to google information about your secretary of state's office in your home town. Go there, and register your business name as an LLC (Limited Liability Company). Next, visit www.irs.gov and get a Tax ID, or EIN, number so that you can start doing business. Visit your local bank and bring your proof of registration from the Secretary of State's office and your Tax ID number, and open a bank account in your business name. They will give you business checks and a business debit card. You can start doing business now! Design a logo, order business cards with the logo, create a website, set-up a Paypal account, and start raking in the dough. My company, http://www.ImoianPress.com , can design logos, create websites, and design and deliver business cards to you in no time. We also can begin to market and promote your service! Way to go - let's get started!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have a friend who is always acting like she is jealous of me. What should I do? She makes fun of my clothes, but the next week she'll be wearing my same outfit! She told a few people at school that she didn't like my hair, then she did hers the same!

That is not a real friend. Why do you still call this girl a friend of yours? Friends encourage you, and they have your back when OTHERS talk about you. Disconnect from this wanna-be, and find yourself some real friends who will love you for you!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

Stoke Your Fire, Pursuing Your Passion

Do you wake up every morning dreading the alarm clock? Are you one of those people who push snooze a million times before you actually drag yourself out of bed to face the day? Are your mornings filled with getting ready, getting stuck in rush-hour traffic, and nervously sliding into work five to fifteen minutes late on a regular basis?

If that sounds like you, you should know that you are suffering from Workplace Brainwashing. The definition of brainwashing is when someone has convinced to do something repetitively without your even being conscious that you are doing it anymore. Think about your daily routine. Do you put your own passions on the back-burner every day to further someone else's dream?

A passion or a talent is just like a fire, burning deep within you. And like a fire, passion can dwindle, fizzle, fade, and die out if it isn't stoked each and every day. How do you stoke your fire? You need to be sure that just as you are dedicated and committed to going to work for someone else each day, you commit to spending time feeding your own fire, as well.

If you're a writer, commit yourself to writing at least one paragraph a day, whether you feel like it or not. If you're a singer, why not upload a YouTube video of you singing your favorite songs each day? You'd be surprised how motivated you can get if you just pursue your passion consistently each day.

There is nothing wrong with working a 9-5 job to feed your family. Just don't allow that job to steal way your passion. It is possible to do both. Remember that we devote our time to what we perceive to be important. Start making YOURSELF important again.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO.

The Joys of Being a Business Owner vs Being Self-Employed

Many people dream of one day "owning their own business", getting out of the rat race, and pursuing their own dreams. If you don't want this to be a "pie-in-the-sky" idea, you've got to do some serious planning and research before stepping out into the wide world of entrepreneurship!

Too often, our idea of owning our own business is vague. It's broad and unspecific. You just know that you need to stop clocking in, having someone look over your shoulder every five minutes, and coming up with excuses to call in sick because you hate what you do every day. In order to bring this fantasy into reality, you should have a pretty clear picture of what it is that you want to accomplish by having your own business.

Would you like financial security? What does that mean to you? Does that mean making $1,000 a month, $10,000 a month, or $100,000 a month? Are you looking to be an authority figure, managing others to work under you, or do you enjoy working alone? Do you picture your business having a storefront, or would you rather work from home?

Those are just a few of the questions you should start out with, but I suggest that you also think about whether or not you would like to be self-employed or a true business owner. You may be confused at that statement. Don't be. Watch my latest video to get a better understanding of what it means to be a true business owner versus being someone who is simply self-employed. This is a big decision for you to make, but it will be the foundation and the building blocks to your ultimate success.

Click this link to see the video below: CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO.

How to Make Money by Simply Being YOU!

A wise person once told me: "Don't ever forget that just because you can do all of these things with ease, and it comes naturally to you, that doesn't take away the value of what you do. Not everyone can do what you do." It took me a long time to figure out what my friend was telling me. Now I understand, and that knowledge is making me money each and every day.

You see, I have been a writer since I can remember. I recall my father placing me in front of a brand new Commodore 64 computer when I was five years old. He loaded up a game called "Kid Write", and I started writing children's stories. That's right. At the age of five, I was already writing, and I haven't stopped since. Writing is a natural talent that I possess, and it is as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or the fingerprint on the end of my finger.

Since I can knock out ten pages worth of material on pretty much any topic that you give me and make it relatable to the masses, I tend to think that this isn't a huge feat. What my friend was trying to get me to see was this: "Naiomi! You can do that because you have the talent and skills! Not everyone has that! So, don't short-change yourself when people ask you to do that for them." I'll admit that he had to tell me that more than twice.

Since quitting my high-paying corporate job as a licensed banker for one of the largest financial institutions in the world, I have learned many things about how to be a truly independent entrepreneur in today's economy. I'll tell you what I tell anyone who asks me how I became so successful. This may not be everyone's recipe for success, but it sure is mine.

Think about the top five things that you love and are able to do. These should be things that you feel DEFINE you. If you only like to dabble in painting every once in awhile, that is not what I'm talking about. Think about the things that make you YOU. If you took those things away from you, you wouldn't be the same. For me, the list looks something like this:

1. Writing
2. Speaking in Public
3. Poetry
4. Performing/Acting
5. Giving Advice to Friends

I like to call the next step The M&M Strategy. No, I'm not talking about candy here. You have to take those things, and find ways to MARKET and MONETIZE them. In other words, let people know that you are good at those things, and find ways to get people to pay you for doing them.

This is why I now get paid to travel the country and give seminars and speeches about what I do. (That's #2 and #5!) That is also why I am a published author of two books that have done very well in the marketplace. (Hmmm... #1!) It's the reason that I do performances, reciting Spoken Word poetry in locations all over the nation. (You got it, #2, #3, and #4!) Finally, it is why I created , a place where I can write eBooks giving advice on different subjects, create videos to answer advice questions, and post my blogs and other articles. (Are you keeping up, here? That was #5 in action.)

Always remember that just because you are good at these things, and they come naturally to you, doesn't mean that they are any less valuable. You too can find ways to make money by simply being you. Take some time to think about what defines you, apply the M&M Strategy to your own talents, and watch the money come rolling in!

Tell Your Partner Your Deepest Fantasies!

I'm always fascinated by the fact that so many men and women feel embarrassed by their own sexual fantasies. So much so, that they don't even feel comfortable telling their partner about the things they daydream about. These same people feel compelled to tell me their deepest darkest secrets after listening to my erotic Spoken Word CD, How Nasty is Too Nasty, or reading one of my steamy books, because they are sure that I won't judge them.

If you have ever developed an urge to experiment in the bedroom with your mate, spouse, or significant other, it's a shame for you to withhold this information from them. You have no idea whether they have had the same thoughts as you have. Open lines of communication apply to everything in a relationship, not just being faithful and expressing your feelings. You should be just as determined to be open about your sexual fantasies, too.

Keeping the fire alive in your relationship is up to you. It's your responsibility to let your partner know what is in your heart and on your mind. There's a reason why you ended up with this person. They should hopefully love you for who you are - including your naughty inner imaginings! Open up and let them in on your sexy secret yearnings... who knows where your revelation will lead. With Valentine's Day right around the corner, it's the perfect timing to tell them how you feel. Take the first steps to spice up your life today!

"I Hate My Job!"... and Other Self-Defeating Thoughts and Comments.

Anyone who has ever worked with me in the past knows one thing about me - I rarely complain about the place that I am employed. I will throw myself into my work and make the best of any situation. The outlook that I have always had has been that if you are unhappy with your present position, instead of spreading a negative cancer throughout the organization, you should quit and make room for someone else who would be happy to replace you.

I believe that this outlook is what has garnered me such success as a business owner. It is those of us who were able to work happily serving others who do the best when we are put in positions of responsibility for ourselves. My positive perception of reality caused me to take ownership over my position in life. It was only by my own doing that I was placed in the jobs that I had taken, therefore it was no one's fault but my own if I was unhappy. No one is forcing you to stay at a place of business that annoys you. The fact that you are still there says more about you than the establishment.

As a business owner, I appreciate the complexities that come along with hiring others to share your vision. You compensate them monetarily, but if they don't have the respect for your craft that you do, and the right attitude, they may not ever be the right fit. I am in a unique position. Most of the people that I employ are people who I have known personally for quite awhile. One steadfast rule that I have in not only my professional life, but also my personal life, is that I do not tolerate negativity or a complaining nature to remain around me. You are known by the company that you keep, and I don't have the time nor the inclination to deal with people who feel helpless in the world.

That's what being negative and always complaining really is, you know. It is an obvious result of a person who feels completely and utterly helpless in their life. Think about it. If you felt empowered and able to make meaningful decisions to impact your life, you wouldn't sit around bitching and complaining about what is happening around you. You would DO SOMETHING to change it.

There are even some people who will do things to try to change their life, but they maintain a self-defeating attitude all the while. As long as you refuse to let go of negativity, it doesn't matter what you do to try to succeed. You will never be happy. Success is not reached at the end of your destination, it is found during the journey towards it.