You know what I have never understood? Why is it that there are some men and women who don't realize that the biggest turn-off to the opposite sex can be that you are just too damn available to anything with a pulse?
Look, if you are a good looking guy with a great sense of a humor and a nice splash of charm to boot, you might have a chance, right? But if you're flirting with me, and then I see you saunter over to the girl on the other side of the room, and you're giving her that same 100-megawatt smile you were just sharing with me - your stock has just crashed! You are no longer a hot commodity, sweetheart. There is nothing worse than being told something romantic, being made to feel wonderful, then realizing that those same words are being shared with a few other women, too.
Like I said in my title, "If everyone gets a piece, I think I'll pass!"
I want to feel special. I want to feel like there is something about me that makes you feel a certain way, and no other girl can give you that special something like I can. This isn't Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, or Real Chance of Love, and unlike all of those hyped-up VH1 reality dating shows, I am not competing against ten women for your attention. I would have been the annoying girl in the very beginning of the series who comes to her senses, realizing how idiotic it is to fight over one man, and carries her bags straight out the door, heading home.
Do you know who excites me? Do you know which man will get my attention faster than any other? That guy who I flirt with, and he is nice and cordial, but you never see him pressed up on a woman. You know, the one who has several women fawning all over him at a distance, but he stays cool in the cut - away from the crowds. He seems untouchable.
I don't want the super cool playboy who is always surrounded by giggling women, thrusting their cleavage at him, while he enjoys every second of it. I am not interested in the Don Juan who basks in the admiration of a harem of women. I've never been a very good groupie.
No, give me Mr. Untouchable any day. Give me the guy who gives me a gentle "no" the first few times, but always with a smile and a compliment. He'll get me everytime. This choosy behavior lets me know that he has standards. He doesn't jump on anything that is offered to him. If he is giving me his time, it's because I have something unique and valuable to offer.
If you are reading this, and you are that guy or that girl who always must be the center of attention, be forewarned! People who are really worth your attention are watching you and taking note of your undesirable behavior. You should be more particular about who you share your time with, and the people who share your time will be of a higher quality. Otherwise, enjoy yourself, and while you're kissing and hugging up on Mrs. Right Now, your Mrs. Right will be quietly walking right out the door.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Talking to Teens About Sex
I have a daughter who is currently eleven-years-old. She is an only child, and as I have been known to tell anyone who is interested, she has been an ideal kid ever since she was born. My pregnancy, on the other hand? Whew!!! I had morning sickness, fainting, constipation, false labor pains, and anything else you can think of throughout my whole nine months!
Once she was born, however, this little angel gave me absolutely no problems. She hardly ever cried, and she started smiling and laughing a little before her third month. If she did cry, you could be assured that by either feeding her, changing her diaper, or putting her to bed, you could immediately cure all of her problems. This baby slept through the night just a week after being brought home. I kid you not - I was in baby heaven with her.
As a kid, she was always understanding of my shortcomings (like when I got stuck in traffic on the way to her school from my job for the annual Thanksgiving Parents luncheon, not making it in time to eat with her in the second grade - I was devasted, but she was so understanding. "It's okay, Mommy, I know you wanted to be here." Awwwww), and she was always grateful for all of the things I did for her. Very rarely did I need to punish her.
My steadfast rule has always been that if she asks me any question, I will always answer it honestly and completely, no matter what that question may be. I have told her this many times. I would rather that she get her information from me than anyone else. So, at five-years-old when my precious little daughter asked me about what it meant for two men to be gay, and how did they "do it", guess what? I answered her. I told her that when two men are gay, it means they love being with other men, not women. I paused to let it sink in, and she looked at me, puzzled. Then the question about how did they "do it" came up, and I asked her how did she think a man and a woman "did it".
She said, very confidently, "They lay down in the bed, start kissing, and a man puts his pee pee inside the woman's pee pee." Remember, this is my kindergartener saying this!
I smiled, and told her, "Well, when two gay men do it, they do the same thing, but one of them puts his pee pee in the other one's booty."
Some of you may think this is way too much to be telling a five-year-old child. I would have to disagree. I first established the fact that she already knew what sex was in the first place. I also followed up by telling her that two people should not have sex until they are mature and love eachother, and the best way is to wait until after you are married.
I didn't come up to my daughter that day and just decide to tell her about gay men out of the blue. Her curiosity came from somewhere else, where she had heard the term, and she already wanted to know. That means that she is going to get the information from somewhere. I always want her to feel comfortable enough with me to be able to come and ask me these awkward questions - not get the info from one of her friends.
My motto is, "If they are old enough to ask about it, they are old enough to be told the honest truth from a parent who can help mold their view on it, as well."
At least if she asks me, she can get my views, and she can get an educated opinion. It is our goal as parents to instill our viewpoints and values in our children, right? If you constantly turn your child away, telling them that they are too young to ask that, or if you berate them for asking the questions, then you can't judge them for getting the information from someone else!
Why are parents these days afraid to talk to their children about sex? I have spoken to many of my child-raising friends about this subject, and it all comes down to a fear of their child growing up "too soon". I have a news flash for you. Children are GOING TO GROW UP, whether you want them to or not. Don't you want to be an integral part of the process for your child?
My daughter is now in the sixth grade. She and I have an amazing relationship. We spend our weekends going to the movies, out to eat, and hanging out with each other. When things happen to her at school amongst her friends or boys, she comes straight home and tells me all about it.
I know all about the crush she had on a boy from the second grade all the way until the end of the fifth, when the notion of splitting apart from him to go to two different middle schools made her come to grips with her feelings and take a chance by writing him a letter admitting her "love". She let me read it (I edited some things and helped her make it sound better, hah), and he took it from her and threw it away on the last day of school. She was devastated. She came home, told me what happened, cried in the bathtub for a couple of hours singing sad Taylor Swift songs, and moped around for a week or two. But during that couple of weeks, she told me all of her feelings. She hugged me, hanging on for dear life, while her poor little pre-teen heart broke. I slept with her a couple of nights, just so she wouldn't cry all alone.
My point is, because she has always felt comfortable with me, and she knows I won't bite her head off, she tells me a lot. Do I think she tells me EVERYTHING? No. I doubt any child will ever tell their mom everything. However, do I think she tells me more than most children tell their parents? Yes. I am sure of it.
My daughter recently started "going out with" a new boy. (The kids use the term, "going out with", to refer to being boyfriends and girlfriends in school - these eleven-year-olds aren't going anywhere!) She came home from school and said that she told her friends that she couldn't wait to get home to tell her mom all about him. Her friends asked her in disbelief, "You tell your mom about your boyfriends?" And my wonderful, straight-A honor roll, perfect attendance, Alpha, Four-H, and Science club member, daughter looked right back at them and answered, "Uhm, yeah. You mean, you don't?!" She says that she feels sorry for kids who can't talk to their moms like she can. You know what? I do, too.
Don't be afraid to talk to your kids about sex, love, relationships, and dating. They are going to grow up, with or without your guidance. Lighten up, and give them your best. These kids need us, and they need to know that they have a safe place to come and talk to someone about these things. Don't you want to be that safe place for your child?
Once she was born, however, this little angel gave me absolutely no problems. She hardly ever cried, and she started smiling and laughing a little before her third month. If she did cry, you could be assured that by either feeding her, changing her diaper, or putting her to bed, you could immediately cure all of her problems. This baby slept through the night just a week after being brought home. I kid you not - I was in baby heaven with her.
As a kid, she was always understanding of my shortcomings (like when I got stuck in traffic on the way to her school from my job for the annual Thanksgiving Parents luncheon, not making it in time to eat with her in the second grade - I was devasted, but she was so understanding. "It's okay, Mommy, I know you wanted to be here." Awwwww), and she was always grateful for all of the things I did for her. Very rarely did I need to punish her.
My steadfast rule has always been that if she asks me any question, I will always answer it honestly and completely, no matter what that question may be. I have told her this many times. I would rather that she get her information from me than anyone else. So, at five-years-old when my precious little daughter asked me about what it meant for two men to be gay, and how did they "do it", guess what? I answered her. I told her that when two men are gay, it means they love being with other men, not women. I paused to let it sink in, and she looked at me, puzzled. Then the question about how did they "do it" came up, and I asked her how did she think a man and a woman "did it".
She said, very confidently, "They lay down in the bed, start kissing, and a man puts his pee pee inside the woman's pee pee." Remember, this is my kindergartener saying this!
I smiled, and told her, "Well, when two gay men do it, they do the same thing, but one of them puts his pee pee in the other one's booty."
Some of you may think this is way too much to be telling a five-year-old child. I would have to disagree. I first established the fact that she already knew what sex was in the first place. I also followed up by telling her that two people should not have sex until they are mature and love eachother, and the best way is to wait until after you are married.
I didn't come up to my daughter that day and just decide to tell her about gay men out of the blue. Her curiosity came from somewhere else, where she had heard the term, and she already wanted to know. That means that she is going to get the information from somewhere. I always want her to feel comfortable enough with me to be able to come and ask me these awkward questions - not get the info from one of her friends.
My motto is, "If they are old enough to ask about it, they are old enough to be told the honest truth from a parent who can help mold their view on it, as well."
At least if she asks me, she can get my views, and she can get an educated opinion. It is our goal as parents to instill our viewpoints and values in our children, right? If you constantly turn your child away, telling them that they are too young to ask that, or if you berate them for asking the questions, then you can't judge them for getting the information from someone else!
Why are parents these days afraid to talk to their children about sex? I have spoken to many of my child-raising friends about this subject, and it all comes down to a fear of their child growing up "too soon". I have a news flash for you. Children are GOING TO GROW UP, whether you want them to or not. Don't you want to be an integral part of the process for your child?
My daughter is now in the sixth grade. She and I have an amazing relationship. We spend our weekends going to the movies, out to eat, and hanging out with each other. When things happen to her at school amongst her friends or boys, she comes straight home and tells me all about it.
I know all about the crush she had on a boy from the second grade all the way until the end of the fifth, when the notion of splitting apart from him to go to two different middle schools made her come to grips with her feelings and take a chance by writing him a letter admitting her "love". She let me read it (I edited some things and helped her make it sound better, hah), and he took it from her and threw it away on the last day of school. She was devastated. She came home, told me what happened, cried in the bathtub for a couple of hours singing sad Taylor Swift songs, and moped around for a week or two. But during that couple of weeks, she told me all of her feelings. She hugged me, hanging on for dear life, while her poor little pre-teen heart broke. I slept with her a couple of nights, just so she wouldn't cry all alone.
My point is, because she has always felt comfortable with me, and she knows I won't bite her head off, she tells me a lot. Do I think she tells me EVERYTHING? No. I doubt any child will ever tell their mom everything. However, do I think she tells me more than most children tell their parents? Yes. I am sure of it.
My daughter recently started "going out with" a new boy. (The kids use the term, "going out with", to refer to being boyfriends and girlfriends in school - these eleven-year-olds aren't going anywhere!) She came home from school and said that she told her friends that she couldn't wait to get home to tell her mom all about him. Her friends asked her in disbelief, "You tell your mom about your boyfriends?" And my wonderful, straight-A honor roll, perfect attendance, Alpha, Four-H, and Science club member, daughter looked right back at them and answered, "Uhm, yeah. You mean, you don't?!" She says that she feels sorry for kids who can't talk to their moms like she can. You know what? I do, too.
Don't be afraid to talk to your kids about sex, love, relationships, and dating. They are going to grow up, with or without your guidance. Lighten up, and give them your best. These kids need us, and they need to know that they have a safe place to come and talk to someone about these things. Don't you want to be that safe place for your child?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Kangaroos and Snakes
A couple of friends of mine were discussing this topic, and I thought it deserved some attention. Have you ever known someone who always had the juiciest gossip to share with you? Do you have any friends who love to talk negatively about other people?
I tend to avoid people like that. I don't know if they believe in karma or the Law of Attraction or reaping what they sew, but I sure as hell do! I feel that if I entertain that type of negativity in my life, it creates a bad aura about me that I absolutely refuse to allow.
There is a very true quote that says, "A dog who will bring a bone will take one." This means that if there is someone coming to you with tons of horrible gossip about someone else, you better believe that they are carrying some gossip about you away to someone else! Watch what you say around someone like that, and watch what they see you do, because they are always on the lookout for something else to talk about.
I try very hard not to let negative comments about other people come out of my mouth. I get very uncomfortable around someone who constantly puts people down. The way I look at it, we are all just out here trying our best to do US, and who am I to judge anyone else? I'm sure you don't have to look very hard to find fault in me, so why should I try to focus on the imperfections in anyone else.
If I have a problem with someone, I either just stop associating with them and let them live their own life sans my friendship, or I address the issue immediately to get it straight between us. You don't have to guess how I feel about you. I am STRAIGHT UP. Why can't everyone be this way? I'd rather fight a kangaroo than a snake anyday. Kangaroos fight you straight on, face-to-face, boxing and kicking you where you can see them and defend yourself. A snake can sneak up on you, strike, and slither away on their belly before you even know it.
Why not make a vow today to only put your lips on someone if it is to motivate them, encourage them, or lift them up? If you can't say anything positive, don't even give them your attention enough to talk about them. It's a good way to live, and an even better way to keep friends!!!
I tend to avoid people like that. I don't know if they believe in karma or the Law of Attraction or reaping what they sew, but I sure as hell do! I feel that if I entertain that type of negativity in my life, it creates a bad aura about me that I absolutely refuse to allow.
There is a very true quote that says, "A dog who will bring a bone will take one." This means that if there is someone coming to you with tons of horrible gossip about someone else, you better believe that they are carrying some gossip about you away to someone else! Watch what you say around someone like that, and watch what they see you do, because they are always on the lookout for something else to talk about.
I try very hard not to let negative comments about other people come out of my mouth. I get very uncomfortable around someone who constantly puts people down. The way I look at it, we are all just out here trying our best to do US, and who am I to judge anyone else? I'm sure you don't have to look very hard to find fault in me, so why should I try to focus on the imperfections in anyone else.
If I have a problem with someone, I either just stop associating with them and let them live their own life sans my friendship, or I address the issue immediately to get it straight between us. You don't have to guess how I feel about you. I am STRAIGHT UP. Why can't everyone be this way? I'd rather fight a kangaroo than a snake anyday. Kangaroos fight you straight on, face-to-face, boxing and kicking you where you can see them and defend yourself. A snake can sneak up on you, strike, and slither away on their belly before you even know it.
Why not make a vow today to only put your lips on someone if it is to motivate them, encourage them, or lift them up? If you can't say anything positive, don't even give them your attention enough to talk about them. It's a good way to live, and an even better way to keep friends!!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Appreciate What You Have
As I was walking towards my kitchen to cook my family another bomb-ass meal, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally stopped in my tracks and stood transfixed, staring at my tiled countertop.
Wow. I have a freaking fantastic life!
I sat on my black leather couch and looked around my spacious living room. I took an assessment of what was going on in my life at this very moment, and I was amazed. I don't say any of this to brag, but to make everyone think for a second about your own lives. Why is it that we focus so much on negativity that we forget to appreciate all of the great things that happen to us each and every day?
I woke up this afternoon, when my daughter got home from junior high. She shows me her report card that has straight A's and a perfect attendance record. Babygirl is beaming from ear to ear, because her principal personally scrawled his own accolades on her report card to congratulate her.
After fixing her a snack, I received a call from my recently hired executive assistant, Heather, who informed me of all of the things she got accomplished while I was sleeping during the day. She has registered http://www.naiomipitre.com/, which has been a long time overdue. She updated my website with all of my new information. She contacted some of the people who are organizing interviews and events that they would like me to be a part of to get the details. Heather is helping me coordinate all of my publicity efforts, and get some organization into my life.
My husband phones me around this time to tell me that he is picking up some groceries on his way home, and ask me if I need anything. I mention a few things, and he tells me he loves me. He phones and texts me a lot during the day, just to keep in touch.
My daughter finishes her homework and starts on her chores so that she can be finished by the time I need to take her to her hour-long acting class in the evening. I realize that I am able to give her everything she desires and more (and she deserves every bit of it). She tells me about her recently acquired boyfriend, and gives me all the juicy 6th grade romantic details.
"...and so, he passed me a note, and he asked if I liked him. I said I did, a little, and he said he did, alittle, too! Then he asked me out, and I said yes, but I am so nervous because he really likes Jade and I wonder if he'll still like her once he's my boyfriend?"
I smile, thinking about the fact that I have the luxury of being here to listen to my daughter tell me about her day as soon as she comes home. I don't have any "boss" to answer to, or any place I need to be unless I feel like being there. I answer to myself, and I am responsible for my own success. I get to concentrate on what I love to do, which is writing, performing, and sharing my gifts with the world - and nothing else. I make my own schedules, not according to what someone else has decided are good hours to work, but my own. Personally, I enjoy spending time with my family when they get home from work and school. I like finally getting to work after they've enjoyed a meal that I have cooked and fallen peacefully asleep. I like seeing my husband and daughter off to school in the morning, right before I finally hit the pillow. My assistant takes over from there.
When things go wrong, it is so easy to begin to concentrate on the negative aspects of our lives. Sure, in the last year someone took advantage of my kindness and wronged me. Sure, I got into a life-threatening collision that broke a few bones and scarred me up a bit. Sure, my father recently passed away. Sure, a dear friend of mine stopped talking to me completely for no reason whatsoever. All of those things are true, and all of them are hurtful.
The thing is, in order to progress in our lives, we have to focus on the positives that will ADD to our lives, not the negatives that SUBTRACT from it. Therefore, I look at my life, and I count myself BLESSED. Thank God for watching over my family and I, and I apologize for not realizing how good I have it sooner. Every once in awhile, give yourself a reality check, and get back on track.
Wow. I have a freaking fantastic life!
I sat on my black leather couch and looked around my spacious living room. I took an assessment of what was going on in my life at this very moment, and I was amazed. I don't say any of this to brag, but to make everyone think for a second about your own lives. Why is it that we focus so much on negativity that we forget to appreciate all of the great things that happen to us each and every day?
I woke up this afternoon, when my daughter got home from junior high. She shows me her report card that has straight A's and a perfect attendance record. Babygirl is beaming from ear to ear, because her principal personally scrawled his own accolades on her report card to congratulate her.
After fixing her a snack, I received a call from my recently hired executive assistant, Heather, who informed me of all of the things she got accomplished while I was sleeping during the day. She has registered http://www.naiomipitre.com/, which has been a long time overdue. She updated my website with all of my new information. She contacted some of the people who are organizing interviews and events that they would like me to be a part of to get the details. Heather is helping me coordinate all of my publicity efforts, and get some organization into my life.
My husband phones me around this time to tell me that he is picking up some groceries on his way home, and ask me if I need anything. I mention a few things, and he tells me he loves me. He phones and texts me a lot during the day, just to keep in touch.
My daughter finishes her homework and starts on her chores so that she can be finished by the time I need to take her to her hour-long acting class in the evening. I realize that I am able to give her everything she desires and more (and she deserves every bit of it). She tells me about her recently acquired boyfriend, and gives me all the juicy 6th grade romantic details.
"...and so, he passed me a note, and he asked if I liked him. I said I did, a little, and he said he did, alittle, too! Then he asked me out, and I said yes, but I am so nervous because he really likes Jade and I wonder if he'll still like her once he's my boyfriend?"
I smile, thinking about the fact that I have the luxury of being here to listen to my daughter tell me about her day as soon as she comes home. I don't have any "boss" to answer to, or any place I need to be unless I feel like being there. I answer to myself, and I am responsible for my own success. I get to concentrate on what I love to do, which is writing, performing, and sharing my gifts with the world - and nothing else. I make my own schedules, not according to what someone else has decided are good hours to work, but my own. Personally, I enjoy spending time with my family when they get home from work and school. I like finally getting to work after they've enjoyed a meal that I have cooked and fallen peacefully asleep. I like seeing my husband and daughter off to school in the morning, right before I finally hit the pillow. My assistant takes over from there.
When things go wrong, it is so easy to begin to concentrate on the negative aspects of our lives. Sure, in the last year someone took advantage of my kindness and wronged me. Sure, I got into a life-threatening collision that broke a few bones and scarred me up a bit. Sure, my father recently passed away. Sure, a dear friend of mine stopped talking to me completely for no reason whatsoever. All of those things are true, and all of them are hurtful.
The thing is, in order to progress in our lives, we have to focus on the positives that will ADD to our lives, not the negatives that SUBTRACT from it. Therefore, I look at my life, and I count myself BLESSED. Thank God for watching over my family and I, and I apologize for not realizing how good I have it sooner. Every once in awhile, give yourself a reality check, and get back on track.
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