I have a situation, and it's really upsetting me. My dear childhood friend's husband recently made some sexually suggestive comments about me. She told me about it. It made me sick to my stomach. What should I do?

First, let me say that I am sorry you are upset about what was said about you. No one should ever have the right to say things to you that would hurt or upset you. On the other hand, he didn't say it to you. He said it in the privacy of his own home, to his wife, who he didn't think would go back and tell you.

I know that there are many things that my husband and I say amongst one another that we would never think to repeat around others. There is a confidentiality between spouses, that even carries through to the courtroom! You can't make a husband or wife testify against their mate. I wouldn't blame him for his words. I would feel more at odds with my friend, who thought it was a good idea to spill the beans to me.

Your friend may have been thinking that she was innocently telling you something that might even boost your self-esteem. She may not have realized that you would react negatively to her husband's comments. Was she upset by his comments? If she was, she shouldn't have gotten you involved. She should have addressed it with him. If she wasn't, that means that she knew that his statements weren't serious and that he didn't mean any harm by them.

You have to think back and figure out why his comments are making you this upset. Is it because of something from your past that makes you extra sensitive to these things? If so, it's not his fault for saying what he said. You have previous issues that need to be worked out. Has he ever made you feel uncomfortable or made advances to you before? If not, you shouldn't blow this out of proportion. Don't make more of it than it really is.

If he has made advances toward you or made you feel uncomfortable, you need to talk with your friend and get things straight with her. Good luck!

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