Be Sexy in Any Weight Class!

I can't even express to you how upset it makes me when a friend of mine tells me that she doesn't feel "pretty" enough to do something. It makes me shudder and want to cry at the same time. Boyfriends, husbands, society, and even other women have made these ladies feel inadequate and ashamed of who they are and what they have to flaunt!

I once had a friend who complimented me on my blouse, telling me, "I love this kind of stuff, but my arms are way too fat to wear sleeveless shirts. It looks so good on you!" Mind you, this woman was far skinnier than I was, and she wasn't being sarcastic or insulting to me. She honestly admired the shirt on me, but could never see herself wearing it because of her own (much more toned) upper arms! There are many women who, to this day, will wear uncomfortable shirts when it is sweltering hot outside all because they cannot picture themselves revealing their arms in a sleeveless shirt or tank top. I should know.

I used to be one of them.

Recently, I was asked to be a featured performer at a Romance Cafe Party held here in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The party was a sensually-themed one, and everyone was dressed very erotically. I performed some of my "special" Spoken Word pieces that evening, and you can see my performance garb above. I received more compliments than you can imagine on my outfit, and I felt so sexy. I am a voluptuous size 22, thank you very much! I believe that a lot of those compliments are a result of the way I carried myself and how I felt when I walked into that building. I carried my head up high and my smile shone brightly.

Unfortunately, one of my closest friends was unable to make it. When I asked her why, it was because she had "nothing to wear". She revealed to me that she had found a suitable outfit, but before she walked out the door, her boyfriend laughed at her. He told her, "Those kind of clothes are for sexy women with sexy bodies!" She was so devastated that she broke down into tears and stayed home instead of coming out and having a great time.

This message goes out to all of those women who allow societies views on what "sexy" should be dictate to them what to wear, where to go, how to act, and how to feel about themselves: No one can make you feel un-sexy but you! If I looked in the mirror every day and put myself down for being overweight, or for my nose being to flat, or for every blemish I have on my skin, I would walk around with my head hanging low and my lip poked out. No one would want to talk to me, or listen to what I had to say. It would be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it would start a vicious cycle of self-doubt.

Due to the confident way I strut my stuff, I get invitations to perform at events all over the nation. I have a lot of fun and exciting friends who are doing positive things for themselves and the community. I get out and about, and I don't let anyone stop me from LIVING OUT LOUD.

Sexy is internal - it just overflows to the outward appearance. The next time someone gives you a compliment, say, "Oh, why thank you!" instead of, "No, my hips are too big." or "Nahhh, my hair looks awful today." Being self-depricating isn't cute, it's sad. If you continue to refute the compliments, one day you will succeed in CONVINCING them that you are RIGHT! Be sexy in any weight class, and learn to love yourself. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise!