I am struggling with running my own business, because most of my customers are also my friends. They keep asking me to do things for them for free, and I feel guilty telling them no. How do I juggle being a business owner with being a good friend?

This is a great question! I have discussed this problem with many of my clients who are new entrepreneurs. You must be able to separate friendships with business relationships. Do not confuse the two.

You shouldn't feel guilty about quoting reasonable prices to clients of yours who are also your friends. If you don't value your time, no one else will, either. The way you have to look at it is this - if these people do not value the thing that they are asking you for enough to pay you for it, than you shouldn't either.

As a business owner, this is your livelihood. No true friend would ask you to take food off of your family's table. I wish you luck!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

My best friend is dating my ex. I never really got over him, because he really hurt my feelings and then later told me that he still liked me. We had began flirting again when suddenly she informed me that they were now seeing each other. Is that right?!

No, it is definitely not right. Your friend has now broken the ultimate golden rule for friendships. Did no one ever teach her friend etiquette?! You DO NOT date your best friend's ex-boyfriend. It's just plain wrong, and it's pretty oogy.

There are feelings that still linger on, and it is mean and selfish for your best friend to put you through that emotional pain. You have to see them together, and hear them talk about being with one another. If she was really your friend, she would have resisted his advances, told you what he was saying to her, and moved on. A real friend would never let a guy get in between your friendship, or do anything that might hurt you.

She was obviously jealous of you and your ex's relationship and wants to get a piece of him herself. You shouldn't feel bad, and just realize that she is getting your left overs.

If you do decide to stay friends with her (which I wouldn't personally recommend), be sure to keep a close eye on this girl! She seems very toxic to you, and I wouldn't put it past her to do other things to stab you in your back. My suggestion? Find a new boyfriend, and FRIEND, who really care about your feelings and aren't playing head games with you. I wish you luck, and I hope this helps.

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have a situation, and it's really upsetting me. My dear childhood friend's husband recently made some sexually suggestive comments about me. She told me about it. It made me sick to my stomach. What should I do?

First, let me say that I am sorry you are upset about what was said about you. No one should ever have the right to say things to you that would hurt or upset you. On the other hand, he didn't say it to you. He said it in the privacy of his own home, to his wife, who he didn't think would go back and tell you.

I know that there are many things that my husband and I say amongst one another that we would never think to repeat around others. There is a confidentiality between spouses, that even carries through to the courtroom! You can't make a husband or wife testify against their mate. I wouldn't blame him for his words. I would feel more at odds with my friend, who thought it was a good idea to spill the beans to me.

Your friend may have been thinking that she was innocently telling you something that might even boost your self-esteem. She may not have realized that you would react negatively to her husband's comments. Was she upset by his comments? If she was, she shouldn't have gotten you involved. She should have addressed it with him. If she wasn't, that means that she knew that his statements weren't serious and that he didn't mean any harm by them.

You have to think back and figure out why his comments are making you this upset. Is it because of something from your past that makes you extra sensitive to these things? If so, it's not his fault for saying what he said. You have previous issues that need to be worked out. Has he ever made you feel uncomfortable or made advances to you before? If not, you shouldn't blow this out of proportion. Don't make more of it than it really is.

If he has made advances toward you or made you feel uncomfortable, you need to talk with your friend and get things straight with her. Good luck!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have started a manuscript, but I am nervous about how to get it puublished once I am done with it. What avenues should I take?

I hear this question a lot in my writers seminars and workshops. The fear of the unknown will stunt the growth of your project. Stop worrying about what will happen to your story once you are finished with it - just finish it! Once you are completely done with it, get it edited (for content, flow, continuity, punctuation, and grammar), THEN worry about the next step. Until then, focus on getting it completed. My company, http://www.ImoianPress.com offers great editing services when you are ready. :)

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I am sure that my wife is cheating on me. She stays out to all hours of the morning, and she keeps telling me about some co-worker of hers named, "Derek". What do I do?

A surefire way to tell that a spouse has started tipping out on you is to listen to their words. When your mate begins to talk incessantly about a person of the opposite sex all the time, your personal antenna and radar should go up. Especially if they are spending lots of unaccounted for time away from home, and the intimacy has began to wane in the bedroom. You need to sit down and have a long talk with your wife. Don't start accusing her, or else she will shut down and all communication will be lost. Instead, open up with this: "I feel like we are growing apart lately. I need to know what I am doing wrong. I want us to have a strong relationship, and I want to know what is lacking. Where do you need me to do better? What do you wish I was doing more or less of?" By taking the blame, you allow her to turn off the defense mechanisms and actually talk to you about her issues. Good luck, and let me know how it goes!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have a great idea for a business. I want to provide people with custom-made theme songs and jingles for their businesses. What should be my first step?

That sounds like a fantastic idea! First of all, you will want to think of a catchy name for your business. Next, you need to google information about your secretary of state's office in your home town. Go there, and register your business name as an LLC (Limited Liability Company). Next, visit www.irs.gov and get a Tax ID, or EIN, number so that you can start doing business. Visit your local bank and bring your proof of registration from the Secretary of State's office and your Tax ID number, and open a bank account in your business name. They will give you business checks and a business debit card. You can start doing business now! Design a logo, order business cards with the logo, create a website, set-up a Paypal account, and start raking in the dough. My company, http://www.ImoianPress.com , can design logos, create websites, and design and deliver business cards to you in no time. We also can begin to market and promote your service! Way to go - let's get started!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

I have a friend who is always acting like she is jealous of me. What should I do? She makes fun of my clothes, but the next week she'll be wearing my same outfit! She told a few people at school that she didn't like my hair, then she did hers the same!

That is not a real friend. Why do you still call this girl a friend of yours? Friends encourage you, and they have your back when OTHERS talk about you. Disconnect from this wanna-be, and find yourself some real friends who will love you for you!

Allow the Best Girlfriend You Never Had to answer your personal or business-related questions! How can I help you?

Stoke Your Fire, Pursuing Your Passion

Do you wake up every morning dreading the alarm clock? Are you one of those people who push snooze a million times before you actually drag yourself out of bed to face the day? Are your mornings filled with getting ready, getting stuck in rush-hour traffic, and nervously sliding into work five to fifteen minutes late on a regular basis?

If that sounds like you, you should know that you are suffering from Workplace Brainwashing. The definition of brainwashing is when someone has convinced to do something repetitively without your even being conscious that you are doing it anymore. Think about your daily routine. Do you put your own passions on the back-burner every day to further someone else's dream?

A passion or a talent is just like a fire, burning deep within you. And like a fire, passion can dwindle, fizzle, fade, and die out if it isn't stoked each and every day. How do you stoke your fire? You need to be sure that just as you are dedicated and committed to going to work for someone else each day, you commit to spending time feeding your own fire, as well.

If you're a writer, commit yourself to writing at least one paragraph a day, whether you feel like it or not. If you're a singer, why not upload a YouTube video of you singing your favorite songs each day? You'd be surprised how motivated you can get if you just pursue your passion consistently each day.

There is nothing wrong with working a 9-5 job to feed your family. Just don't allow that job to steal way your passion. It is possible to do both. Remember that we devote our time to what we perceive to be important. Start making YOURSELF important again.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO.

The Joys of Being a Business Owner vs Being Self-Employed

Many people dream of one day "owning their own business", getting out of the rat race, and pursuing their own dreams. If you don't want this to be a "pie-in-the-sky" idea, you've got to do some serious planning and research before stepping out into the wide world of entrepreneurship!

Too often, our idea of owning our own business is vague. It's broad and unspecific. You just know that you need to stop clocking in, having someone look over your shoulder every five minutes, and coming up with excuses to call in sick because you hate what you do every day. In order to bring this fantasy into reality, you should have a pretty clear picture of what it is that you want to accomplish by having your own business.

Would you like financial security? What does that mean to you? Does that mean making $1,000 a month, $10,000 a month, or $100,000 a month? Are you looking to be an authority figure, managing others to work under you, or do you enjoy working alone? Do you picture your business having a storefront, or would you rather work from home?

Those are just a few of the questions you should start out with, but I suggest that you also think about whether or not you would like to be self-employed or a true business owner. You may be confused at that statement. Don't be. Watch my latest video to get a better understanding of what it means to be a true business owner versus being someone who is simply self-employed. This is a big decision for you to make, but it will be the foundation and the building blocks to your ultimate success.

Click this link to see the video below: CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO.

How to Make Money by Simply Being YOU!

A wise person once told me: "Don't ever forget that just because you can do all of these things with ease, and it comes naturally to you, that doesn't take away the value of what you do. Not everyone can do what you do." It took me a long time to figure out what my friend was telling me. Now I understand, and that knowledge is making me money each and every day.

You see, I have been a writer since I can remember. I recall my father placing me in front of a brand new Commodore 64 computer when I was five years old. He loaded up a game called "Kid Write", and I started writing children's stories. That's right. At the age of five, I was already writing, and I haven't stopped since. Writing is a natural talent that I possess, and it is as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or the fingerprint on the end of my finger.

Since I can knock out ten pages worth of material on pretty much any topic that you give me and make it relatable to the masses, I tend to think that this isn't a huge feat. What my friend was trying to get me to see was this: "Naiomi! You can do that because you have the talent and skills! Not everyone has that! So, don't short-change yourself when people ask you to do that for them." I'll admit that he had to tell me that more than twice.

Since quitting my high-paying corporate job as a licensed banker for one of the largest financial institutions in the world, I have learned many things about how to be a truly independent entrepreneur in today's economy. I'll tell you what I tell anyone who asks me how I became so successful. This may not be everyone's recipe for success, but it sure is mine.

Think about the top five things that you love and are able to do. These should be things that you feel DEFINE you. If you only like to dabble in painting every once in awhile, that is not what I'm talking about. Think about the things that make you YOU. If you took those things away from you, you wouldn't be the same. For me, the list looks something like this:

1. Writing
2. Speaking in Public
3. Poetry
4. Performing/Acting
5. Giving Advice to Friends

I like to call the next step The M&M Strategy. No, I'm not talking about candy here. You have to take those things, and find ways to MARKET and MONETIZE them. In other words, let people know that you are good at those things, and find ways to get people to pay you for doing them.

This is why I now get paid to travel the country and give seminars and speeches about what I do. (That's #2 and #5!) That is also why I am a published author of two books that have done very well in the marketplace. (Hmmm... #1!) It's the reason that I do performances, reciting Spoken Word poetry in locations all over the nation. (You got it, #2, #3, and #4!) Finally, it is why I created , a place where I can write eBooks giving advice on different subjects, create videos to answer advice questions, and post my blogs and other articles. (Are you keeping up, here? That was #5 in action.)

Always remember that just because you are good at these things, and they come naturally to you, doesn't mean that they are any less valuable. You too can find ways to make money by simply being you. Take some time to think about what defines you, apply the M&M Strategy to your own talents, and watch the money come rolling in!

Tell Your Partner Your Deepest Fantasies!

I'm always fascinated by the fact that so many men and women feel embarrassed by their own sexual fantasies. So much so, that they don't even feel comfortable telling their partner about the things they daydream about. These same people feel compelled to tell me their deepest darkest secrets after listening to my erotic Spoken Word CD, How Nasty is Too Nasty, or reading one of my steamy books, because they are sure that I won't judge them.

If you have ever developed an urge to experiment in the bedroom with your mate, spouse, or significant other, it's a shame for you to withhold this information from them. You have no idea whether they have had the same thoughts as you have. Open lines of communication apply to everything in a relationship, not just being faithful and expressing your feelings. You should be just as determined to be open about your sexual fantasies, too.

Keeping the fire alive in your relationship is up to you. It's your responsibility to let your partner know what is in your heart and on your mind. There's a reason why you ended up with this person. They should hopefully love you for who you are - including your naughty inner imaginings! Open up and let them in on your sexy secret yearnings... who knows where your revelation will lead. With Valentine's Day right around the corner, it's the perfect timing to tell them how you feel. Take the first steps to spice up your life today!

"I Hate My Job!"... and Other Self-Defeating Thoughts and Comments.

Anyone who has ever worked with me in the past knows one thing about me - I rarely complain about the place that I am employed. I will throw myself into my work and make the best of any situation. The outlook that I have always had has been that if you are unhappy with your present position, instead of spreading a negative cancer throughout the organization, you should quit and make room for someone else who would be happy to replace you.

I believe that this outlook is what has garnered me such success as a business owner. It is those of us who were able to work happily serving others who do the best when we are put in positions of responsibility for ourselves. My positive perception of reality caused me to take ownership over my position in life. It was only by my own doing that I was placed in the jobs that I had taken, therefore it was no one's fault but my own if I was unhappy. No one is forcing you to stay at a place of business that annoys you. The fact that you are still there says more about you than the establishment.

As a business owner, I appreciate the complexities that come along with hiring others to share your vision. You compensate them monetarily, but if they don't have the respect for your craft that you do, and the right attitude, they may not ever be the right fit. I am in a unique position. Most of the people that I employ are people who I have known personally for quite awhile. One steadfast rule that I have in not only my professional life, but also my personal life, is that I do not tolerate negativity or a complaining nature to remain around me. You are known by the company that you keep, and I don't have the time nor the inclination to deal with people who feel helpless in the world.

That's what being negative and always complaining really is, you know. It is an obvious result of a person who feels completely and utterly helpless in their life. Think about it. If you felt empowered and able to make meaningful decisions to impact your life, you wouldn't sit around bitching and complaining about what is happening around you. You would DO SOMETHING to change it.

There are even some people who will do things to try to change their life, but they maintain a self-defeating attitude all the while. As long as you refuse to let go of negativity, it doesn't matter what you do to try to succeed. You will never be happy. Success is not reached at the end of your destination, it is found during the journey towards it.

What Your Banker Never Told You - How to Improve Your Credit

Is your bank taking advantage of you? Most of us go to the bank at least twice a month for one reason or another. If someone were to ask you today, "What is your banker's name?", what would you say? Would you stare at them, dumbfounded? Too many people are utilizing the banks convenience services (direct deposit, savings accounts, automatic bill pay), but not taking advantage of all of the benefits that are offered through their financial institution.

As a formerly licensed banker at one of the world's largest banks, I will tell you that I discovered the injustice that occurs in America's banking system firsthand. The bank gains accounts and makes money off of service charges, insufficient funds fees, and more, but very few of their most loyal customers enjoy the most basic benefits that should be offered readily.

If you have a bank account, you should have a personal banker.

There should be someone that you speak to and are on a first-name basis with, in the branch that you frequent the most. This person should know you, your business/employer, your family, and your future plans. That is the only way that they will be able to help you when you need it. Your bank shouldn't be some huge, faceless institution that has no personality. Go into your bank this week and choose your own personal banker today! Most bankers would love to have their clients come in and request a meeting. It's a chore to try to get people to come into the bank nowadays, with online banking and drive-thru's being the main way that people handle their finances.

Make sure your banker is someone you feel comfortable with.

Since you will be revealing a lot about yourself and your family to this person, make sure it is someone that you feel comfortable with. He or she should be someone you can easily relate to, and someone that you know will not judge you when you hit those financial rough spots. A good banker can be your closest friend during those timesof need.

Don't think that you have to be rich to talk to your banker.

Your banker has tons of helpful tips and tricks to help you. Even if you are living paycheck to paycheck, you will be surprised at how much your banker can save you. There are easy things that you can do to improve your credit, and only your banker knows! In our new book, "What Your Banker NEVER Told You!", we reveal simple ways to improve your credit.

There is no reason why your bank should be taking all of your deposits and not helping to better your life. Think about all of the money you are entrusting your bank to manage for you. Use your banker to his or her fullest, and get started on the road to financial happiness today!

Full Disclosure: Honesty and Communication in Relationships

We've all told our partner that we wanted them to be honest and upfront with us. We encourage our loved one to open up to us and reveal all of their innermost thoughts without fear of judgement. I think that at times, we don't realize what sort of Pandora's Box we may be opening up when we ask for this 'full disclosure' from our mates. Feelings of hurt, disgust, disappointment, and even anger can erupt, and once it's been said, it can't be taken back.

Are there certain things that you have kept from your love interest? Would you ever think about revealing all of your past indiscretions to the one that you care about the most? If your partner were to tell you something that you found dispicable or distasteful, would you be able to process the revelation without punishing them for their past mistakes?

We have to be able to look at ourselves honestly and think about what we are willing to deal with in our relationships. Do we really need to know everything about the one we have given our heart to? Maybe we are better left in the dark about certain things. All of us have done things in our past that we aren't proud of. If we could snoop around in everyone's closets and dig up all of those dusty skeletons, we'd probably be shocked at all of the dirt we could find on each other! Why would we want to do that? Mistakes are made in our lives in order to help us learn and grow. We improve and excel above those mistakes, so why should we be made to expose them and have our faces rubbed in the mess we've made?

Take care when you are thinking about telling your love interest about all of your past experiences. You never know how they will react to your revelations. Also, if your partner tells you something that disappoints you, focus on the fact that they were secure enough in your relationship to tell you this embarrassing fact. Is your love strong enough to endure the negative feelings that their confession has caused within you? Full disclosure is a tricky subject. There may be some things that are better left unsaid.

Be Sexy in Any Weight Class!

I can't even express to you how upset it makes me when a friend of mine tells me that she doesn't feel "pretty" enough to do something. It makes me shudder and want to cry at the same time. Boyfriends, husbands, society, and even other women have made these ladies feel inadequate and ashamed of who they are and what they have to flaunt!

I once had a friend who complimented me on my blouse, telling me, "I love this kind of stuff, but my arms are way too fat to wear sleeveless shirts. It looks so good on you!" Mind you, this woman was far skinnier than I was, and she wasn't being sarcastic or insulting to me. She honestly admired the shirt on me, but could never see herself wearing it because of her own (much more toned) upper arms! There are many women who, to this day, will wear uncomfortable shirts when it is sweltering hot outside all because they cannot picture themselves revealing their arms in a sleeveless shirt or tank top. I should know.

I used to be one of them.

Recently, I was asked to be a featured performer at a Romance Cafe Party held here in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The party was a sensually-themed one, and everyone was dressed very erotically. I performed some of my "special" Spoken Word pieces that evening, and you can see my performance garb above. I received more compliments than you can imagine on my outfit, and I felt so sexy. I am a voluptuous size 22, thank you very much! I believe that a lot of those compliments are a result of the way I carried myself and how I felt when I walked into that building. I carried my head up high and my smile shone brightly.

Unfortunately, one of my closest friends was unable to make it. When I asked her why, it was because she had "nothing to wear". She revealed to me that she had found a suitable outfit, but before she walked out the door, her boyfriend laughed at her. He told her, "Those kind of clothes are for sexy women with sexy bodies!" She was so devastated that she broke down into tears and stayed home instead of coming out and having a great time.

This message goes out to all of those women who allow societies views on what "sexy" should be dictate to them what to wear, where to go, how to act, and how to feel about themselves: No one can make you feel un-sexy but you! If I looked in the mirror every day and put myself down for being overweight, or for my nose being to flat, or for every blemish I have on my skin, I would walk around with my head hanging low and my lip poked out. No one would want to talk to me, or listen to what I had to say. It would be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it would start a vicious cycle of self-doubt.

Due to the confident way I strut my stuff, I get invitations to perform at events all over the nation. I have a lot of fun and exciting friends who are doing positive things for themselves and the community. I get out and about, and I don't let anyone stop me from LIVING OUT LOUD.

Sexy is internal - it just overflows to the outward appearance. The next time someone gives you a compliment, say, "Oh, why thank you!" instead of, "No, my hips are too big." or "Nahhh, my hair looks awful today." Being self-depricating isn't cute, it's sad. If you continue to refute the compliments, one day you will succeed in CONVINCING them that you are RIGHT! Be sexy in any weight class, and learn to love yourself. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

My Good and Faithful Servant - I am Disappointed by Naiomi Pitre

"You just don't get it, do You?" He smirked and sneered at me.

"I don't understand," I said, "What is it that you wanted me to be?"
Standing at the foot of the throne, seeing Jesus at God's right hand,
I was confused, mad, distraught - I've always done whatever I can
I gave to the poor, I went to church, faithfully every Sunday
I took communion, I prayed every night, I always watch whatever I say
I never listened to rap music, or other offerings from the world
I adamantly voiced my dismay when I would see a boy loving another boy or a girl loving another girl
I read my Bible religiously, and I scolded those who didn't
I watched people who were disobeying your Word, and I told them that they shouldn't
I served on the usher board, the choir, and I was church secretary
I saved myself and never even kissed until I was safely married
So how could it be, that He was looking at me, with such contempt in His Holy eyes
How could it be, that He was shaking his head at me, now that I have died?

"You just don't get it, silly girl." He laughed, shrugging his tremendous shoulders
"If only You'd been more adventurous, more daring, a little bolder -
If You'd taken what I've given You, and did what You should have
Maybe You would have a better report at the end of Your life, and You wouldn't feel so bad."

"What more could I have done?!" I cried out, "You expect too much!"

"Hush, You stupid little child, and REALLY try to listen to me for once.
I gave You opportunity to live, but instead You turned up Your nose
I wanted You to experience the world, but instead in the church doors You dove
I brought people to You, for You to love and care about
But as soon as You saw one flaw in their personality, Your mind filled with self-righteous doubt
I put a talent within You to write, but instead You kept it all inside
The beautiful, sensual words I gave You, You were ashamed and wanted to hide
I yearned for You to travel to great lands and learn about my people there
But because they didn't believe as You did, You decided that You'd be too scared
Wonderful things, I tried to show You, but Your holiness kept You away
You never challenged Yourself to think outside of the box, afraid that from Your religion You'd stray
Fear does not impress me, I'm not moved by Your blind obedience
You judged people, You hurt people, You were a stumbling block, and You DARED to use me as Your defense!
How dare You find the nerve to step to me now that Your life is done
Looking for Your crown of glory, Your mansion made for one
You think that You will find Your reward after You've disgraced me at every turn?
But have no fear, daughter dear, maybe during this next life You'll learn!"




* Author's note: When God speaks, He always capitalizes the "Y" in You. While You are so busy capitalizing His "G", He wants you to know the "Y".

Wanting More, Receiving Less

It's an epidemic - worse than the swine flu, mad cow disease, or even SARS. It's prevalent in all of America, whether you live in the poorest inner city or the richest zip code of California. This epidemic crosses all racial and cultural barriers.

Women all over the world are getting intimately involved with married men. Think about it. You either are a woman who has been with a married man at some point in your life, you know someone who has been one, or you're a man who is married and sleeping with a woman other than your wife right now!

There are many aspects of surviving an illicit affair, and you can read all about them in my new book, "He Loves Me More, Even Though He's Still Married to HER!" Notes to the Other Woman. For the purposes of this blog, I would like to address one - always wanting more but receiving less.

It's a funny thing - dating a married man. When you first begin flirting with a married man, you begin to demand more and more of his time. During the "honeymoon phase" of your relationship, you may even ask for time, money, vacations, jewelry - hell, most of the time you don't even have to ask. It's provided for you ad nauseum! Do you remember uttering the words, "Oh, you shouldn't have. You don't have to do all of this..." And what was his response? "I know I don't. I want to do this for you."

Once you've been with your stolen beau for a lengthier amount of time, the dynamics change. As you become more and more emotionally attached to this man, you begin trying to ask for more from him, but he will begin pulling further away. You see, what is happening is that you are beginning to think of him like a real boyfriend instead of a fun adventure. At the same time, he sees that you are turning this into a REAL relationship, instead of a fun adventure! He already has a real relationship - that's his wife. That was the reason he turned to you in the first place, to escape the real relationship in his life.

Therefore, as you are getting closer to him and wanting more, you are inevitably going to begin to turn him off. He will find ways to avoid you, and eventually, to get rid of you. You've become a liability instead of an asset. Not only did you forget what game you were playing, but you forgot your position, too. You don't have the right to want more from him. You agreed to this arrangement, and now you're renigging on the contract. As much as you want to hate him for it, it's you that is at fault.

If you want to to learn more about what is REALLY going on when you begin sleeping with a married man, be sure to get the book, "He Loves Me More, Even Though He's Married to HER!"

If Everybody Gets a Piece, I Think I'll Pass

You know what I have never understood? Why is it that there are some men and women who don't realize that the biggest turn-off to the opposite sex can be that you are just too damn available to anything with a pulse?

Look, if you are a good looking guy with a great sense of a humor and a nice splash of charm to boot, you might have a chance, right? But if you're flirting with me, and then I see you saunter over to the girl on the other side of the room, and you're giving her that same 100-megawatt smile you were just sharing with me - your stock has just crashed! You are no longer a hot commodity, sweetheart. There is nothing worse than being told something romantic, being made to feel wonderful, then realizing that those same words are being shared with a few other women, too.

Like I said in my title, "If everyone gets a piece, I think I'll pass!"

I want to feel special. I want to feel like there is something about me that makes you feel a certain way, and no other girl can give you that special something like I can. This isn't Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, or Real Chance of Love, and unlike all of those hyped-up VH1 reality dating shows, I am not competing against ten women for your attention. I would have been the annoying girl in the very beginning of the series who comes to her senses, realizing how idiotic it is to fight over one man, and carries her bags straight out the door, heading home.

Do you know who excites me? Do you know which man will get my attention faster than any other? That guy who I flirt with, and he is nice and cordial, but you never see him pressed up on a woman. You know, the one who has several women fawning all over him at a distance, but he stays cool in the cut - away from the crowds. He seems untouchable.

I don't want the super cool playboy who is always surrounded by giggling women, thrusting their cleavage at him, while he enjoys every second of it. I am not interested in the Don Juan who basks in the admiration of a harem of women. I've never been a very good groupie.

No, give me Mr. Untouchable any day. Give me the guy who gives me a gentle "no" the first few times, but always with a smile and a compliment. He'll get me everytime. This choosy behavior lets me know that he has standards. He doesn't jump on anything that is offered to him. If he is giving me his time, it's because I have something unique and valuable to offer.

If you are reading this, and you are that guy or that girl who always must be the center of attention, be forewarned! People who are really worth your attention are watching you and taking note of your undesirable behavior. You should be more particular about who you share your time with, and the people who share your time will be of a higher quality. Otherwise, enjoy yourself, and while you're kissing and hugging up on Mrs. Right Now, your Mrs. Right will be quietly walking right out the door.

Talking to Teens About Sex

I have a daughter who is currently eleven-years-old. She is an only child, and as I have been known to tell anyone who is interested, she has been an ideal kid ever since she was born. My pregnancy, on the other hand? Whew!!! I had morning sickness, fainting, constipation, false labor pains, and anything else you can think of throughout my whole nine months!

Once she was born, however, this little angel gave me absolutely no problems. She hardly ever cried, and she started smiling and laughing a little before her third month. If she did cry, you could be assured that by either feeding her, changing her diaper, or putting her to bed, you could immediately cure all of her problems. This baby slept through the night just a week after being brought home. I kid you not - I was in baby heaven with her.

As a kid, she was always understanding of my shortcomings (like when I got stuck in traffic on the way to her school from my job for the annual Thanksgiving Parents luncheon, not making it in time to eat with her in the second grade - I was devasted, but she was so understanding. "It's okay, Mommy, I know you wanted to be here." Awwwww), and she was always grateful for all of the things I did for her. Very rarely did I need to punish her.

My steadfast rule has always been that if she asks me any question, I will always answer it honestly and completely, no matter what that question may be. I have told her this many times. I would rather that she get her information from me than anyone else. So, at five-years-old when my precious little daughter asked me about what it meant for two men to be gay, and how did they "do it", guess what? I answered her. I told her that when two men are gay, it means they love being with other men, not women. I paused to let it sink in, and she looked at me, puzzled. Then the question about how did they "do it" came up, and I asked her how did she think a man and a woman "did it".

She said, very confidently, "They lay down in the bed, start kissing, and a man puts his pee pee inside the woman's pee pee." Remember, this is my kindergartener saying this!

I smiled, and told her, "Well, when two gay men do it, they do the same thing, but one of them puts his pee pee in the other one's booty."

Some of you may think this is way too much to be telling a five-year-old child. I would have to disagree. I first established the fact that she already knew what sex was in the first place. I also followed up by telling her that two people should not have sex until they are mature and love eachother, and the best way is to wait until after you are married.

I didn't come up to my daughter that day and just decide to tell her about gay men out of the blue. Her curiosity came from somewhere else, where she had heard the term, and she already wanted to know. That means that she is going to get the information from somewhere. I always want her to feel comfortable enough with me to be able to come and ask me these awkward questions - not get the info from one of her friends.

My motto is, "If they are old enough to ask about it, they are old enough to be told the honest truth from a parent who can help mold their view on it, as well."

At least if she asks me, she can get my views, and she can get an educated opinion. It is our goal as parents to instill our viewpoints and values in our children, right? If you constantly turn your child away, telling them that they are too young to ask that, or if you berate them for asking the questions, then you can't judge them for getting the information from someone else!
Why are parents these days afraid to talk to their children about sex? I have spoken to many of my child-raising friends about this subject, and it all comes down to a fear of their child growing up "too soon". I have a news flash for you. Children are GOING TO GROW UP, whether you want them to or not. Don't you want to be an integral part of the process for your child?

My daughter is now in the sixth grade. She and I have an amazing relationship. We spend our weekends going to the movies, out to eat, and hanging out with each other. When things happen to her at school amongst her friends or boys, she comes straight home and tells me all about it.

I know all about the crush she had on a boy from the second grade all the way until the end of the fifth, when the notion of splitting apart from him to go to two different middle schools made her come to grips with her feelings and take a chance by writing him a letter admitting her "love". She let me read it (I edited some things and helped her make it sound better, hah), and he took it from her and threw it away on the last day of school. She was devastated. She came home, told me what happened, cried in the bathtub for a couple of hours singing sad Taylor Swift songs, and moped around for a week or two. But during that couple of weeks, she told me all of her feelings. She hugged me, hanging on for dear life, while her poor little pre-teen heart broke. I slept with her a couple of nights, just so she wouldn't cry all alone.

My point is, because she has always felt comfortable with me, and she knows I won't bite her head off, she tells me a lot. Do I think she tells me EVERYTHING? No. I doubt any child will ever tell their mom everything. However, do I think she tells me more than most children tell their parents? Yes. I am sure of it.

My daughter recently started "going out with" a new boy. (The kids use the term, "going out with", to refer to being boyfriends and girlfriends in school - these eleven-year-olds aren't going anywhere!) She came home from school and said that she told her friends that she couldn't wait to get home to tell her mom all about him. Her friends asked her in disbelief, "You tell your mom about your boyfriends?" And my wonderful, straight-A honor roll, perfect attendance, Alpha, Four-H, and Science club member, daughter looked right back at them and answered, "Uhm, yeah. You mean, you don't?!" She says that she feels sorry for kids who can't talk to their moms like she can. You know what? I do, too.

Don't be afraid to talk to your kids about sex, love, relationships, and dating. They are going to grow up, with or without your guidance. Lighten up, and give them your best. These kids need us, and they need to know that they have a safe place to come and talk to someone about these things. Don't you want to be that safe place for your child?

Kangaroos and Snakes

A couple of friends of mine were discussing this topic, and I thought it deserved some attention. Have you ever known someone who always had the juiciest gossip to share with you? Do you have any friends who love to talk negatively about other people?

I tend to avoid people like that. I don't know if they believe in karma or the Law of Attraction or reaping what they sew, but I sure as hell do! I feel that if I entertain that type of negativity in my life, it creates a bad aura about me that I absolutely refuse to allow.

There is a very true quote that says, "A dog who will bring a bone will take one." This means that if there is someone coming to you with tons of horrible gossip about someone else, you better believe that they are carrying some gossip about you away to someone else! Watch what you say around someone like that, and watch what they see you do, because they are always on the lookout for something else to talk about.

I try very hard not to let negative comments about other people come out of my mouth. I get very uncomfortable around someone who constantly puts people down. The way I look at it, we are all just out here trying our best to do US, and who am I to judge anyone else? I'm sure you don't have to look very hard to find fault in me, so why should I try to focus on the imperfections in anyone else.

If I have a problem with someone, I either just stop associating with them and let them live their own life sans my friendship, or I address the issue immediately to get it straight between us. You don't have to guess how I feel about you. I am STRAIGHT UP. Why can't everyone be this way? I'd rather fight a kangaroo than a snake anyday. Kangaroos fight you straight on, face-to-face, boxing and kicking you where you can see them and defend yourself. A snake can sneak up on you, strike, and slither away on their belly before you even know it.

Why not make a vow today to only put your lips on someone if it is to motivate them, encourage them, or lift them up? If you can't say anything positive, don't even give them your attention enough to talk about them. It's a good way to live, and an even better way to keep friends!!!